There’s an uproar about romantica / erotica and “real” romance in the publishing industry. The question seems to be what, exactly, is romance? What is romantic? What is erotic? When does romance turn into erotica and when does romantica / erotica become pornography?
Here’s my take…
There are many facets to romance. What you find romantic depends on how you were raised, your belief systems, the person you’re with, and what you want out of a relationship.
If you’re a health fanatic, you’re not going to find a candlelit dinner of steak and lobster drenched in butter with ooey-gooey chocolate cake for dessert romantic –no matter how much time and effort your partner put into that event.
If you’re truly into the environment and saving it, you’re not going to be thrilled with someone who brings you a bouquet of wildflowers – even if they picked them themselves – actually, ESPECIALLY if they picked them.
If you’re focused on family and on a specific set of family values, you’re not going to be excited about a romantic get-away to a hedonistic setting to indulge in sexual fantasies.
If you’re reading about a health fanatic, you WANT him/her to be ‘tempted’ by that chocolate cake and the butter-drenched lobster…you WANT him/her to have chocolate dribbled on some part of their body for their lover to lick off. That’s erotic. If the licking turns to lovemaking, that’s romantica. If the two of them decide they can work past the indulgence of one and the sparseness of the other and have a lasting relationship in spite of their differences, that’s romance.